Stretch Marks & Self Pleasure

Stretch marks, saggy skin and cellulite

do not hinder your ability to live orgasmically.

However....

Your well-run thoughts (and feelings) about them, absolutely will.

It’s not enough to say an affirmation in the mirror once a week. After you’ve applied your make-up and covered your grays, how grateful you are for your body or when that self help and healing post pops up to remind you to ‘love yourself’.

When your truth is, you feel self conscious AF, dread the experience of being caught naked by your partner, because fuck, if you have issues with what you see in the mirror, what’s your partner seeing with their 360 degree view. 

You also struggle hard with letting go on the sex and intimacy front because you habitually hide not just your body, but your heart and vulnerability. So forget wild, unbridled hot and sweaty, no fucks given, passionate lovemaking because your self-esteem and body confidence levels clearly shows you give several, hundred fucks indeed.

And I say this as a reminder to honour myself as well. 

Because I’ve been on a journey of self-rejection, hiding myself away, covering up with layers and taking 100 selfies for the ‘best’ angle, too.

My maidens body is NOT similar to my body, now.

Now it is… Motherly.

I’m still breastfeeding.

My tummy has a hang-over.

My pussy tore in birthing.

And my anal skin tag got longer in pregnancy. 

TMI? I'm not shying away from telling you that because reality is, things happen to our bodies throughout our life. 

Embarrassing, traumatic and sad things. 

That does not need to condemn us to live out our days in a space of self-abandonment as punishment for things not being ‘perfect’ or going perfectly.

How would you love to feel about your body when it comes to s.x, love and intimacy?

<3

Stretch Marks and Self Pleasure has deeply resonated with many of you. 

I received plenty of DM’s with how it was…

‘so relatable’

‘I saw myself in everything you wrote’

‘Did you look inside my soul?’.

If body image has been a struggle for you and you relate to hiding your body out of shame, feeling disconnected,  or your negative self-talk is getting out of hand and it's seriously jeopardizing your happiness and how you desire to beam in the world….

Then this one is for you...

Three ways you can experience self pleasure through erotic exploration of your stretch marks, saggy skin and cellulite. (That actually builds and grows your self love, body appreciation and beauty.)

1. The Unrobing Ritual

Got a mirror?

See yourself, don’t look away. Hold your gaze. 

Say the words out loud. Touch those parts. Breath. 

Look at and feel yourself with compassionate eyes. 

Your body HAS been on a journey. Use a candle and soft music for ambience if you wish.

2.  Self-pleasure with the intention to focus on body parts you are avoiding, disowning or distracting yourself from. 

Massage your tummy and vulva simultaneously. Breathe orgasmic energy from your pussy to your belly then to your heart and cycle it down. Imprint your body and mind to feel pleasure in your belly’s soft, squishiness. 

When I touch my belly now, I am reminded that I’ve had amazing orgasms assisted by being turned on with how it all feels. 

That’s hot. 

My belly is hot. I climax to the sag of my belly and I like it.

3. Invite your partner into relishing your body.

This is very important because until you land this with YOURSELF and then with your partner, you will forever hide yourself and your needs, desires and pleasure between the sheets too. In this practice you are literally bringing your body to the light to be seen. Liberate yourself, gorgeous. Your life will thank you.

Whenever I start to have a decline in how truly beautiful and splendorous my body is- and yes it does happen- I invite my partner to touch, caress and pay extra attention to that area when love-making. Having someone outside ourselves affirm that they accept, love and are turned on about the diversity of our body changes, the easier it is to jump start the repatterning.

I also bring more attention, focus and include the areas I’m having ‘a moment’ with.

Another practical example would be, when I’m on top, I have my partner massage my tummy and slowly feel the bumps of my cellulite as if that in itself is a sensory pleasure experience. I’ll ask him to tell me what he can feel and what he loves. I’ll self touch and do the same too.  

This is not about co-dependencies, outsourcing or only loving oneself when another finds you worthy enough to.

No.

This is about SUPPORT.

So in closing.

It’s ok to be you. Exactly how you are at this very moment. 

You are worthy of exquisite pleasure and having a fulfilling as fuck, orgasmic life, exploring your eros..

So here’s to your journey of truly coming back to love yourself. All of you. So that you can receive the pleasurable embodied experiences of bliss and ecstasy you came to earth for.

Because I’m a  #kaleidoscopewoman and #soareyou

xx