5 really important things I learnt about pleasure, embodiment and of course sex, whilst being a full time Sex Worker.
And what I’m referring to here is the authentic pleasure experience that is unbridled, uninhibited and fully expressed. Not shrouded in self judgement, Critism and body image issues that is keeping you disconnected from fully enjoying yourself and your lover.
Now this can look different on many fronts. Ie, estatic sex can be rather quiet. Fully expressed does not mean super loud and performative. It means giving yourself the permission, thus granting the other permission, to be fully IN the pleasure experience, how ever that looks.
If one partner is up in their head, so too is the other. It doesn’t matter which is which and who is who. When...
Contraction and disconnection are the antithesis to a life of bloom and flight.
Or perhaps a reflective moment for recalibration...
I feel the grip of contraction in my body, as it slithers like a lovers hand up my torso.
My gut clenches, my heart goes numb, and the contraction grips, blocks and sets in my throat.
A sense of feeling adrift in the mind sea.
Directionless, powerless, anxious.
From here I enter, disconnection.
My disconnection presents as avoidance and non engagement.
It turns into muteness.
Laced with the undertone of wanting to do something, but not knowing what that something is. Nor how to express it. In sets the stagnation and stillness.
It becomes so uncomfortable that movement begins to stir again. The pushing against the cocoon to break and allow some sunlight back in.
And so, once again.
Re emergence through another cycle. Ebbs and flows of life.
I try my best to be aware of this stillness and not fear it. As I...
Sitting on my porch early this morning I watched the lady across the road pull into her driveway. She had a crumpled jacket tucked under one arm as she surveyed her flowers in the front yard. She slid her key into her door lock and I saw her hair was ruffled and messy. She closed the door, went into house.
Where had she been?
My curiosity sparked.
Was she just returning home from an all night's escapade with a new lover?
Oh, how delightful.
Had she even slept yet?!
Few moments later I looked up to see a woman walking up the same side of the street, and a couple of feet in front of her is a dog.
I assumed it was her dog although it was not on a lead.
As they walked up the footpath, the dog jumped into the yard of the ladies house.
The woman continued walking. She looked at the dog, but kept walking. I expected her as she walked past the last fence post of the yard, to call in the dog.
The dog was now in the yard sniffing the plants.
With no call and no look back...
I believe that when an individual expands their definition of what an orgasm is...
They become more orgasmic.
I was feeling tiredness sweep my mind. So I grabbed a book from my library ‘The War of Art’ by Steven Pressfield and laid down on my sofa to lull my mind in a focused way. My intention was to diffuse the thoughts than the current ones that were regurgitating around my mind.
As I laid, I was noticing I was missing something.
As I kept reading, I also mentally scanned my body.
I could feel the buzzy that was taking place.
It was me, I was missing just feeling myself from the INSIDE.
Being in the aliveness that is within the stillness of my body.
I put my book down, and closed my eyes.
Feeling the vibration in my hand. Being with the sensations of my body container. Feeling where parts of my body feel cool and my chest felt warm.
The noisy silence.
The activation occurring with my clitoris as I focus on the stirring of...