ACCIDENTAL EMBODIMENT
Jun 01, 2022
Anxiety feels like a disturbed ants nest in my chest.
Times like these I reach for peace. Not for pleasure.
To lull the ants back into their home for rest.
I have to actively bring calm to my being. I really have to focus.
I remember the first time I unknowingly calmed.
Out of sheer desperation, sheer salvation.
I was saturated in overwhelm. Drowning in debt and in shame. I was trying to keep my mouth above water.
Whilst simultaneously, trying to rescue another from himself.
Sitting in my office chair of my sensuality boutique, I had to close my eyes and really focus.
I followed my breath all the way down to my feet and twinkled my toes.
I just had to get present.
Like minute to minute fucking present.
I had to get so clear of where I was, where my feet where, what I was touching, what I could physically feel, in that very moment and know that I was safe. Physically safe.
“Breath in, breath out” I would mentally say to myself.
“You are safe, right now, in this very moment, you are safe. No one needs anything from you right now. Your feet are on the floor and you are ok, you are safe, right now”.
This was my mantra.
I would continue like this as moment by moment my body would calm down, my heart beat would slow, my mind had stopped looping the horrifying stories of the entire index of possible catastrophic scenarios that could play out and how I was going to fix everything. And moreso, how I was even going to survive.
This was my first accidental introduction to embodiment.
I didn’t even know what it was.
That it had a name.
All I knew was for those moments, I was ok. I was safe. No body need anything from me.
For this moment, the siring crushing pressure on my chest had subsided. The shouting voices, the images in my mind had lifted. The ache in my throat had faded.
My life didn’t get better from there.
Not for a number of years. This was part of a descent spiral into deep learning, the ‘tortured soul’ kind. A time that ultimately includes my greatest hits of ‘lived experience’ that I reflect on.
However, this is one of the things that I can say has gotten me to where I am today, my ability to get myself in to my body. To hold myself. To be with myself.
Embodiment.
Through learning, exploring and practicing this art, I have access to peace and calm. I have gateways to profound pleasure and joy.
Through this practice I have created a connection to my body that feels like safety.
I close my eyes, and instantly I’m in my safety container. I replenish myself. Regulate my nervous system.
If you are a woman wanting to go from panic to peace and pleasure, jump into my DM’s.
I'm gifting 2x 30 minute online Embodiment taster sessions.
Author
Allonie Morris
Somatic Sexologist
Allonie Morris is a passionate Somatic Sexologist, Tantric Practitioner, creatress of Temple Venus and host of The Sexy, Sacred & Juicy Woman Podcast. Allonie is also a riveting speaker of eroticism and sexuality, workshop facilitator and a specialist in Erotic Embodiment.
